This is the Life! (of Nathaniel Jones) » 2006

Posted by wisenaboo in Uncategorized (7/21/2006 at 9:09 pm)

I am writing to you all now from the Roosevelt Inn in Keystone, South Dakota. How are things going in the rest of the world with you all? I will tell you how things are here as you go along through this blog post! And because I noticed that some recent posts are rather gloomy, this one is real optimistic! Lift your eyebrows high when you read it!

Our Travel Adventoures (check out that invented word there!) began on Wednesday at five in the morning! Almost! At about ten after five, the airport shuttle van picked us up at our house in Federal Way so that we could get to the airport for our flight! We got to the airport plenty early to get through security clearence, where it was determined that we were probably not terrorists! Hooray! So we got some breakfast at starbucks - I got a chai latte and and a croissant half-full (optimist!) of apple filling! After breakfast and waiting, we got on our flight, where it was so full that the only spots open were middle seats - giving me the opportunity to be elbow buddies with two fancy fellows! My sis and I were planning on watching a movie on the laptop, but since we weren’t sitting together we didn’t - instead, I pulled out my drawing book and colored pencils and made a sweet drawing of Pirates, and a sweet drawing of Jesus and the Antichrist as college roommates that I plan on turning into either a cartoon or a webcomic! That flight brought us to Phoenix, Arizona: the second state of the day.

There I met Harlie, a nine year old girl with a set of magnetic cowgirl dolls that needed some new outfits. So with my help, we were able to get them dressed up fancy for nights on the town! We gave them boot hats and skirt shirts and lasso pants and other wild garmenture! It was sweet! And then she was looking through my drawing book and asked me to draw her picture, so I did! And then she drew a picture of me, with great nine year old artistic talent! I’ll scan all the drawings from the trip when I get home!

Our flight from Phoenix to Omaha was delayed again and again, which gave us more than four hours to find new and interesting magnetic cowgirl outfits. When finally the plane arrived, we flew away to the third state of the day: Nebraska! During the flight sis and I watched ‘Jaws,’ so I didn’t get any new drawings done. The movie took up the whole flight (until the battery died right before the shark did - sorry for the spoiler just then), and then we landed in Omaha, where the weather was 105 degrees, even though it was after dark! My grandpa was waiting for us at the baggage claim, and from there we went to the fourth state of the day, Iowa! In Iowa, we went out to dinner at Arby’s, where I had a French Dip! And as an added bonus, when we had finished our dinner, they brought out a TJ Cinnamon’s Pecan Roll for each of us for dessert! Sweet!

After dinner we drove on and on through the night until we got to the fifth state of the day, as we reached our final destination of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. By this time we were all quite tired, and so we went straight to our hotel. I had a very nice, huge room all to myself! The only problem with it was that we didn’t get to stay in it very long; I went to sleep first thing after taking pictures of the sweet room, and then we left the hotel first thing after the continental breakfast the next day! After the hotel we went to my Grandpa’s condo, where we had a surprise visit from Becca and Jeremy and the two kids (last summer there was only one, so this was our first time to meet baby Michael) and a feast from Kentucky Fried Chicken! That was a fun visit, and it was extra fun because we didn’t think that we’d get to see any of them during our trip!

After that visit we mosied on out of Sioux Falls, and drove the seven hours to Keystone! On the way we stopped at Wall Drug (because how can you not?) and had some donuts and free ice water and took a pile of pictures of all the Wall Drug Oddities! I dug Wall Drug! When we got to Keystone we dropped our stuff off at the hotel (where I have another big room to myself, though a cousin may move in soon) and went out to dinner at the Historic Ruby House. While we waited for our table we sat in the Red Garter Saloon, where I saw the tallest person I have ever seen! You know how every now and then I comment about seeing giants at parties or elsewhere, but this was the first time I’e actually had to stop and stare and point out to people “look at how ridiculous giant that guy over there is!” While we continued to wait, two little girls walked up and got his autograph, so we asked the waitress who he was, and she said that he’s the star of a shoot-out show they do in the bar there! So we’re going to go back and see the show while we’re here, and I’ll try to get a picture with him! Dinner was delicious, and afterwards we went back to the hotel for a good night’s sleep!

And that brings us to Today, when cousin Jim arrived, and we all took a beautiful scenic drive up to Hill City (which reminded me much of Hill Valley from Back to the Future) and the Crazy Horse monument! I took a pile of pictures on the drive, and at the monument! That took up most of the day, and when we got back to Keystone it was time for dinner (after watching the Colbert Report), so we went to a Mexican restaurant that was recommended by the hotel staff! That was tasty as well! After we ate, we went to a little shop full of all sorts of amusing knick-knacks and crazy inventions! And out front of that, they had a little jail cell with a toilet in it that made for a nice photo opportunity! Following that bit of fun, we went back to the hotel, where a big group of family members had just arrived, so we all helped carry their bags up to their room, and then we all hung out in my parents’ suite. And then when everyone else went off to bed, I went downstairs to where we get internet access and wrote this account of the Vacation So Far!

I hope you enjoyed the tale so far - and look forward to the future, because it holds even more thrilling tales, and when I get back home, there will be mountains of pictures to go along with these stories! Sweet!

Out of the Bellingham, Into the Fire0

Posted by wisenaboo in Uncategorized (7/17/2006 at 10:25 pm)

Hello, all - I’m now in between my two trips; my first was to Bellingham over the weekend, and next I’ll be going to South Dakota.

As for Bellingham, it was not a bad little trip, but certainly not the fun-filled weekend I had been hoping for. I drove up Saturday, spent the afternoon scootering around downtown, and in the evening I went to see Sound of Music, which to be honest was not so good as I expected. When it started I was excited, because the set was really bizarre: the whole thing consisted of a ramp in the middle of the stage where most of the action takes place, a giant green tube filled with light, and Stage Dive Jesus - a giant crucifix that was put up on a sqee-hunky angle that made it look as if Jesus were getting ready to go crowdsurfing. With this odd set-up, I imagined that I was about to see Sound of Music as I had never seen it before, done in a New and Interesting Way. But then the show itself was Same-ol’-SoM, just put on a funky set. And the tone and pacing seemed all wrong as well; bits that were supposed to be funny weren’t funny, bits that were supposed to be romantic weren’t romantic, and bits that were supposed to be tense weren’t tense. And the audience that night responded equally (Saturday Night audiences are usually the best, but through the whole show I think they laughed at two jokes, and all of the applause after each song seemed to be done because clapping is expected, rather than clapping for the show itself). Not that it was all bad - Crystal and Random were good as Elsa and Max, the nuns sounded good, and the little kids were cute. But overall, I was disappointed, even for Sound of Music.

After the show I went to Brittni’s house with a bunch of theater kids. I was rather drowsy after my day of driving and scootering and watching a show, so on the way there I picked up an energy drink with alcohol in it, and it was the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted. I don’t remember the name, and a google search didn’t help, so I can’t warn you all against that particular beverage, but watch out for it all the same. Other than that grossness it was fun - we all played “Pass the Pigs” (like dice, but pigs), and there was dancing and convesation, and all in all it was a good little party. After everyone else had left I went to sleep on a couch at wee-thirty am, and then woke up at 7:30 thinking it was 10:30.

Since I didn’t want to waste my day in bed I got up and rode to campus to use the shower at the theater. I had thought that there was a shower in the bathroom down by 199, but as it turns it there isn’t. I did know there was one in the dressing room, though, so I tried to get there through 199, but the door was locked (not surprising, since it usually is during shows so that people don’t steal the costumes). So I tried to get in through the theater, because I discovered that the back door was unlocked. I thought ‘hooray! it’s unlocked! I can take a shower, because I am smelly!’ But when I went down to the dressing room, the door to the boy’s part where the shower is was locked anyway. So I ended up just trying to wash up as best as I could in the bathroom sink by 199, creatively finding ways to stay clothed while washing just in case somebody were to walk in (though nobody did). Then I changed into some clean clothes, and called Amalia to see if she wanted to go out to breakfast, but since she didn’t call back I just went down to Haggen and had a quarter of a watermelon and what I thought was a cinnamon roll (but it turned out to be just a roll with cinamon and sugar and nuts on top (instead of rolled up inside)).

After the watermelon, I looked at the time and saw that it was about four hours until I should head over to the theater to get tickets for Pirates of Penzance, but I wasn’t in a good mood from only getting a few hours of sleep, and so I didn’t feel like waiting that long, and so instead headed home right then. I’ll have to catch Pirates and Godspell next time I’m up there (and next time I’ll have to go up on a weekday, because I have to turn in paperwork for both housing and so I can graduate).

The next trip is the Family Reunion in Deadwood, South Dakota. That one should be adventurous and fun, and I’ll have my camera, so I can record it for posterity. Since I’ll be in SD from Wednesday until next Tuesday, I probably won’t have any updates or any form of online communication till after I get back, but I will be reachable by cell phone. And when I get back, I’ll be starting up at Target, so you all ought to come buy some nachos! Yee haw!

Now that’s a real shame when folks go and throw away a perfectly good white boy like that0

Posted by wisenaboo in Uncategorized (7/12/2006 at 10:41 pm)

I guess I should have waited a couple days for my David Brent post, because last night I was interviewed for an article in the newspaper, and Brent would have more to say about that than yer ol’ Job Interview. Oh well. If you’re in the Federal Way area, pick up next week’s Mirror (whenever it comes out) and I’ll likely be in there talking about the Harmony Kings Barbershop Chorus (which I’ve been going to since I got back to town). Perhaps you’ll even see my picture in - who knows? And after rehearsal as I was riding my scooter home again, I nearly became an International Superstar when I noticed a film crew shooting outside one of the local shopping centers. I think they were just about ready to pay me billions to star in their little production (a commercial for moneytree), but unfortunately (for them) they already had all the actors they needed (it’s good for me that they had no spots, because I wouldn’t want my name associated with that nefarious business).

But in further “people want to give me billions of dollars” news, my job interview today was a success! I am now a proud employee of Target’s food court area! For those of you unfamiliar with Food Avenue, it is one of the most swanky, classy, and up-to-the-chin-with-style eateries in the tri-state area. You may think, “oo, but I want a restaurant with waiters and tablecloths and high Zagat ratings.” but listen chump, you’re a fool if you go those places, because what have they got there? Dead fishes wrapped in weeds? Who wants that? Raw meat stuck in a pile? Disgusting! Come down to food avenue, we’ve got hotdogs, and nachos, and napkins! Come on! Don’t be an idjit, eat at Food Avenue for all your meals! And there’s one other thing that none of those other restaurants have: me! What could be better?

For those curious about the title of this post, it is a signal meant to explain that I got my box of DVDs in the mail, and so tonight I watched the classic 80s comedy “Better Off Dead.” And that’s a quote from the movie, so…

And now I see that I’m slipping back into “The Office” style of writing. Oo! (change of conversation) I had an idea last night for a television show which would be a sort of cross between The Office and The Colbert Report, shot in documentary style, about a republican politician on the campaign trail. In my head it is quite hilarious, so if anybody wants to get together and film a little pilot, that’d be a fun way to spend a day.

Last thing for now: as I mentioned, I’m looking to come up to Bellingham, and today I looked at hotels in the area to see how much it would be to stay the night, and as it turned out, it’s crazy expensive (for the hotels they had listed on hotels.com - they didn’t have any of the seedy looking places on Samish listed on the site), so do any of you ‘hamsters have a spare couch or something comfy for sleeping I could borrow for the night in the near future?

I Can Make That Dream Come True, Too - AKA, For You0

Posted by wisenaboo in Uncategorized (7/10/2006 at 11:56 pm)

Because I am pretty much obsessed with “The Office” right now, so I’m writing this post in the style of various “Office” characters. So, in order to understand it, you should read each paragraph in the voice called for, beginning with David Brent! (if you do not know the voice of David Brent, go out right now - yes, right now, don’t finish reading it first. Go out, get all of the DVDs (seasons 1, 2, and the Specials), watch them, and then come back and finish reading the post. Thank you.)

(This paragraph in the style of David Brent)
Big day today, yeah? I’ve got a phone call today, from Target, and they say to me “Oi, Nathaniel, we really want you to come in for an interview on Wednesday,” and so I agree, right… so often, I walk around and I say “hey - I’ve been walking around for 22 years, I’ve got experiences to share” and people don’t interview me, and… it’s a waste. So when somebody asks, I can’t be greedy. I can’t be stingy, I can’t say “oh no, I won’t help you out, I’ve got things to do. I’ve got to write a book, I’ve got to write a play, I’ve got to write music, I’ve got to yeahyeahyeahyeah…” Time is… we’ve got to give time to those that don’t have it. I mean, they have time, but they don’t have the wisdom. That’s where I come in. I can go down there and give lay down a cool vibe, and if they want to give me money to stay and work, well - I mean, do the math. So…

(Now read this next paragraph in the style of Tim)
Ok, um… I can’t take this anymore. Right? I’m just - I’m done. What am I doing here - I’m in Federal Way, living with the parents, haven’t got a job, haven’t got a car, social life is non-existent… the other night I attempt to find some sort of excitement, so I use the internet (which is now high-speed wireless) to look up “Federal Way night life” on google, and find a website that lists the Best Of for Federal Way. Amongst the long and impressive list of Night Life attactions (Red Robin, Azteca…), I discover what appears to be the only well-reviews bar in the city (bar because there are no actual dance or nightclubs of any kind in Federal Way) is only a block away. So I go out in hopes of finding some people, or at least something more fun than sitting in the basement, only to discover that it had closed. So I walk around trying to find some alternative, and spot the Tully’s, and so I head that direction, planning on just sitting on a couch and relaxing, and discover that that was closed for the night - and it was a little after 9pm on Friday. Even Slough is better than this. (insert Tim’s raised-eyebrow depressed/exasperated look here)

(And this final paragraph in the style of Garreth)
Blogmonster! Bloggy bloggy bloggy! Oi oi oi! What’s happening… what are you doing tonight? I’ll probably be - oh! Mentalist! I was just planning - you’ve got to plan ahead. I’ll be going to South Dakota in a week and a half. Between now and then I’m planning a trip to Bellingham to see some shows and friends - mental! Get us together, eh? (cell phone rings) Oh, hold on - Nathaniel Jones. (Tim on the phone: “Cock!”) (dives over desk to fight with Tim).

We Hold These Truths to be Self Evident0

Posted by wisenaboo in Uncategorized (7/4/2006 at 11:57 pm)

So, today is the 4th of July (technically it was yesterday, because it is after midnight as I type this). To celebrate, I’m writing this Patriotic Post, full of American Pride. To kick off this post (kick off => football => American!) (post => post office => US Postal Service => American!), I’ll tell the story of What Has Happened With Me Lately (a lot of capital letters => a lot of capital punishment => American!).

Mostly I’ve been sitting in my comfy chair and watching movies and eating junk food (American!). The past few days I’ve been bought 4 DVDs - Office Space, Better Off Dead, Real Genius, and Truman Show. Those last three I ordered from the internet (internet => Al Gore => American!), and they should arrive before too long. When I’m not watching movies, I’m working on books - Kung Fu Space Pirates for the most part, and I’ve also just rediscovered “The Messiah Complex,” the book I started writing a couple years ago about the (American!) man who goes back in time to Biblican Times and is mistaken for the messiah (messiah => Jesus => American!). And I’m also still just scratching the surface on my senior project musical, so I’ve got a bunch of writing to do. And I still need to find a job! Goodness gracious!

Tonight for the 4th of July I went to the “Red White and Blues” festival at Celebration Park, and, hooray hooray, I took a small pile of pictures! Look at them, you patriots!

Some kites high in the sky (like the space shuttle that I watched launch this morning => American!)

A view of the entire festival:

Another view:

A third view (if you put these three views together, you can make a panorama of the entire festival! Neat!

What would a festival be with a dunking tank?

Since this is America, you have the OPPORTUNITY now to play the Dunk Tank Game!
If anyone accuses you of using steroids because you never miss on the Dunk Tank Game, deny it! (denial => American!)

My high school math teacher from FWHS was there, and he spotted me. He asked what I was doing these days, and I asked if he was still teaching, and he said that he quit a year ago and is now working with Clowns Unlimited:

(ability to advance from a lowly position as ‘teacher’ to the much-more-important job of running inflatables => American!)