Happy Tuesday, all - how goes it?
I’m pretty well tired out tonight - I worked at Target today for the first time in a week, and was pleased that I remembered how to do everything. And I passed my Pizza Hut Test, so I’m now officially an expert at making personal pan pizzas and things. Boo-ya! Originally I was to have another day off tomorrow, but I’ll be filling in for another guy from 10:30 to 3:30, and then I’ll be working from 3:30 to 8:30 from Thursday to Tuesday - so you should all take a trip to target to see me in all my Food Avenue Glory.
That’s my Target News of the day. In Kitten News, Cosette now weighs about a pound (since she was so little and malnourised before, she’s been chowin’ down on Baby Food) and she’s becoming skilled in battle. She can now leap from my lap to my chest with no warning, giving me a shock as I’m typing at the computer. And speaking of typing, she’s learning how to type herself, although right now she just appears to be typing in some cat language that cosists of a single letter repeated many times, followed by another repetaing letter, and more letters or perhaps some numbers and symbols. When I get enough writing samples, I plan on translating it, and then writing a book on what cats mean.
In Music News, I’ve currently got the song “Wild Wild Life” from the movie “True Stories” stuck in my head (”True Stories” is the movie-musical from the band The Talking Heads, and it is also the source of today’s title quote).
In Computer News, I have a new compuer. I’ve actually had it for a little while now, but as I was looking back at my recent entries, I noticed that I haven’t mentioned it other than the post about how it had not arrived yet. Well, it has arrived, and it is pretty sweet. It’s shiney and neat. I haven’t had the chance to try out its entertainment features yet (if I plug a cable or sattelite signal into it, I can use my computer like a TiVo, and watch television on my computer monitor), but as for being a computer, it’s been performing quite well, with a few instances of trouble the first day when I got the Blue Screen of Death a couple times. Right now the only real complaint I have about it is that the sound card in it is a cheapie one, and I’m not able to use Audacity to record sounds playing on my computer through it (with my last computer I was able to use Audacity to record streaming audio and audio from video and things, and I can’t do that with this one) - so I’ll be looking at upgrading the sound card pretty quick. In the week that I’ve had it, I’ve been loading it with software thanks to my pirate skills (and by pirate skills I mean my ability-to-legally-purchase-software skils). So now I’ve got almost all the programs my old one had on my new one. And since this computer has the Media Center version of Windows XP instead of the regular one, I’ve got the program that puts a little dancer in the corner of your screen to dance to your tunes. Or you can put the dancer right in the middle of your screen if you like. It’s a versitile programe like that.
Yesterday and today I’ve been customizing the computer with a “The Office” sound scheme. So when I start the computer it plays the opening theme from “The Office,” and when I shut it down it plays the closing theme. When I insert a device into one of the slots, David Brent says “Ooh, kinky,” or when something goes wrong he says “Oh! see - your fault,” when a device fails to connect, Garreth says “it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with you for a start, and yet, in my head, I’d still do you, so I’m confused,” when I delete something, Dawn says “I put it in the bin that was a special filing cabinet,” and when I get a new e-mail, Garreth’s cell phone rings and he answers it and Tim says “cock!” And there are many more. And I giggle to myself whenever I hear one of them.
Let’s see what other news I have tonight… in Playing Card News, if you are a playing card, don’t get in the way of Cosette, or you may find yourself on the business end of her claws. Right now she’s dishing out some severe punishment to the Queen of Clubs, so… be warned.
In me-being-a-genius news, I’ve started work again on Kung Fu Space Pirates after a long time not working on it. Should be ready finished before long now (I mean it this time, too). I also barely started a new cartoon today: a cartoon version of the Three Little Billy Goats Gruff. Since it’s almost bedtime for me, I’ll post a little story of it, and you can look forward to seeing it animated later one:
The Three Little Billy Goats Gruff
by Nathaniel Jones
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a family of billy goats named Gruff. The smallest of these billy goats was named Gruff, and he was the small. He was not very big, but he was smart, and he was a billy goat.
The second billy goat was named Gruff, and he was the brother of the first one. He was bigger than the smallest billy goat Gruff, but he was not the biggest. In fact, he was a ‘medium.’
The biggest billy goat, named Gruff, was the third. He was the brother of both of the other two billy goats gruff, and he was as strong as a goat, and he was also smart.
The bad news for these billy goats Gruff was that their field was running out of grass to eat, and so the goats needed to find some food or else they would starve. But the other bad news was that the land where there was grass a-plenty was across a bridge guarded by a Fierce Troll. But the good news was that the goats were clever, and so they came up with a plan.
The next morning, the smallest billy goat, named Gruff, started across the bridge to the land of green grass. The troll heard the goat, and so leapt up from under the bridge and blocked his path.
“Who’s that trip-trapping across my bridge?” demanded the troll.
“I am a little billy goat Gruff, and I’m going to the land of green grass so that I can eat and laugh and play and be merry.” said the goat.
“Oh no you’re not - I’m going to eat you up for breakfast!” snarled the troll as he licked his ugly troll lips and rubbed his ugly troll belly.
“Oh, dude!” said the goat, “I’m so small, I can’t possibly give you your fill. I tell you what - my big brother is coming this way, and if you wait for him, he’ll give you a much better meal.”
The troll thought about this, and decided that the little goat was right, and so he let the goat pass.
A little while later the second goat began to cross the bridge.
“Who’s that trip-trapping across my bridge?” demanded the troll once again.
“It is I, the second Billy Goat Gruff, on my way to the fields of greener grass.”
“I don’t think so bubbala, I’m hungry, and you’re just in time for me to eat you for my lunch.”
“Oh please!” said the second billy goat Gruff, “you think that I’d make for a good lunch? Just look at these bony legs! Why, I’m hardly a mouthful. But, on the other hand, if you wait for my brother, he’s surely big enough to give you your fill.”
The troll was frustrated, but since he was quite hungry by this time, he decided to wait until he could have a really good meal, and let the goat past.
The troll went back under his bridge until he heard the third goat passing overhead.
“Who’s that trip-trapping across my bridge?” demanded the troll.
“It is I, the third billy goat Gruff, on my way to the fields of greener grass.” said the third goat.
“Oh no you don’t, little menschen, I’ve been waiting all day to eat a tasty goat, and you’re going to be my dinner!”
“You think I’d make for a good dinner? Please!” said the third billy goat Gruff. “Why, look at me - I’m far to small for a great troll such as yourself. If you wait just a little while longer, you’ll have a goat of such great size, and great taste, that he’ll make for the greatest feast ever known to troll-kind!”
The troll, upset at having to wait once more, let the third goat pass into the fields of greener grass, as he went back down below to wait.
The three little billy goats Gruff, together again, lived happily ever after in their new home.
And later on, the troll was like “oh dangit!”
The End.
