Once upon a time in Gotham City (AKA Bellingham), Batman looked up in the sky to see a the bat signal shining on the clouds.

"Whoah, now! It’s the Bat Signal!" Said Batman, and he was right. Unfortunately for the city, though, Batman had some things to do that day, and so he was unable to go find out what was going on. Luckily, he knew of a fellow called Nathaniel Jones…

At that moment, Nathaniel Jones was working the soundboard for the play "Uncommon Women and Others" in the underground theater, just like he was every night at this time.

There sat Nathaniel in the little booth in the corner, trying to watch the play through the little crack in between the sound board and the wall, but this did not work very well, so he wondered what Batman was doing about this time.

In case you are curious as to how Batman and Nathaniel Jones are such good friends, I’ll show a flashback to a few days ago:

A few days ago, Nathaniel Jones was trying to get his hair to behave, and it was not being nice at all. In fact, his hair was so unruly that Nathaniel decided that he should go to the barber to teach it a lesson (because taking your hair to the barber is just like when Maury sends kids to boot camp, you know).

The problem was, Nathaniel was so busy with Uncommon Women and school that he did not have time to go to the barbershop. But, what he DID have was a hair cutter of his own. But what he did not have, however, was any barber skills whatsoever. But he did have a mirror to use, and a video camera to document the adventure, and that was enough for him, so he set up his camera and cut his hair for the very first time…

With somewhat disastrous results.

At least, that’s what he thought at first. But over the next few days, almost everyone (with a few exceptions) thought it looked very good. And the video of his haircutting adventure, which Nathaniel put on Youtube, quickly became his most-watched video on there - and that is how Batman got a hold of it, because Batman often watches youtube clips on the Batcomputer.

Batman kept calling up Nathaniel to try and get him to do things together (apparently Robin was out of town or something), but Nathaniel was too busy, because he had to rehearse and perform his Scottish Play scene for a second time with Crystal

And he was also starting rehearsals for his King Henry IV scene with Jackie (in this picture, they’re rehearsing by reading their lines while chasing each other about and trying to hit each other with crumpled up pieces of paper).

On Friday night, Batman wanted Nathaniel to go after the Joker, but Nathaniel already had plans - after that night’s Uncommon Women performance, he went to Jason’s birthday party. It was a fun party, especially for Jason, as he was almost constantly getting massages and lapdances the whole time, frequently by three or four different people at once. It’s good to be the birthday boy.

There was one moment when the party lost its fun, however, as outside there was a big fight going on. A bunch of people from the party went and stood on the porch to watch the fight, but then a few gunshots went off, and everyone hurriedly rushed back inside the apartment to avoid being shot. The good news was that nobody was shot (or so we assume, as no ambulances showed up), and after the police had cleared all the people from that area, the party got back down to business -the business of Dancin!

On Saturday, after two performances of Uncommon Women, Nathaniel finally had some free time to hang out with batman - but this time, it was Batman himself who was busy! You see, Batman had to do some grocery shopping, and so he called on Nathaniel to fill in for him for the night. So Nathaniel put some black around his eyes (because if you watch the movies, you’ll see that Batman has black around his eyes underneath of the mask, and Nathaniel must be accurate), then went to the store and picked up a 6 of Mikes lime-aid, and then went to the Halloween / Uncommon Women Cast Party (because that’s most likely where the Joker would be).

As it turned out, when Nathaniel (as Batman) arrived at the party, there was some other fellow also dressed as Batman - and Nathaniel could tell that he was an imposter! At first it appeared that he was an evil supervillain disguised as Batman to destroy Gotham City, but then as it turned out that it was just some college kid dressed as Batman for Halloween! Hee hee - that guy should know that he’s way too old to go around as Batman for Halloween!

Since the party was Joker-free, Nathaniel drank his Mikes and had such a great time that even his batman mask lost it’s angry facial expression.

Here’s hoping your Halloween has been just as amazing (and if it hasn’t been, you’ve still got a couple days before REAL Halloween, so you’ve still got some time to prepare.)

For actual photographs, I’ve put up a Halloween Party picture page here: http://nathanieljones.com/pictures/fall06/halloween/

Halloween is coming up, and you know what that means? Scary movies!

Tonight’s scary movie: The Amityville Horror. Over the summer I read the book, but up till tonight I hadn’t seen either of the movies - but tonight, I watched the most recent version, which changed pretty much everything that is changable from what it was originally. Come on now, filmmakers - Jodie is a pig, not a little girl! Get it right! So, fine, she was originally a little girl, but when she comes back from the dead she takes the form of an evil glowing-eye pig. Why? I don’t know, but the book says “based on a true story,” so I can only assume that they’re being completely truthful with me.

But the really interesting thing, and the reason I thought I’d post about it: my macbeth scene is in the movie! There’s a scene that takes place in the kitchen, and it starts out with a shot of the father (whose name I’ve forgotten, so I’ll call him “Macbeth”) staring at his shaking hands. When I saw that shot, I thought to myself, “hee hee - Macbeth scene!”, but then once the wife comes in (I’ll call her “Lady Macbeth”) and they started the dialogue, I realized that it really is the scene from The Scottish Play - Lady Macbeth is trying to get Macbeth to snap out of it and leave the house, while he, in a state of panic, explains that they cannot leave. They’ve started this house, and are stuck there until they see it through to the end. Lady Macbeth continues to try to rationalize and make Macbeth get it together, to which Macbeth says “When did you get so f-ing stupid?” (censored for the children that might be around). So Lady Macbeth says that she doesn’t care about the money that they’ll lose, she just wants to leave the house, but Macbeth says that it is all his money that they’ll lose, and it was Lady Macbeth herself that pushed him into buying the house. Add to that the constant scary sounds and hallucinations, and you’ve got a quite obvious copy of Macbeth on your hands.

And, as a further coincidence, Jodie in Macbeth is a pig, too.

Tonight to go along with the movie, I ordered pizza from pizza hut, because the Bellingham papa john’s closed down. I ordered two larges, because that’s what I had a coupon for, but unfortunately when I began to eat, I remembered that I really don’t much care for Pizza Hut Pan Pizza, and as a result, I’ve now got two almost-whole large pizzas in my freezer - good news for you if you’re nearby and are a huge fan of pizza hut, as these pizzas are yours for the taking.

Now - time for me to get to work.

I’d like to start this post with a salute to Crystal Brooks, because she is pretty flippin’ sweet - I’ve been ridiculously stressed out lately, and thanks to her 70s Party last night and us not rehearsing tonight, it has helped a great deal. So thank you, Crystal, for being so awesome.

Now, to fill you all in on the events of the past week: starting last weekend, my life has revolved around Uncommon Women (the play for which I am running the soundboard). It was quite fun at first, when I got to wear a headset and listen to all of the secret conversations that we actors don’t usually get to hear (although I’m sure when I’m on the acting side of things, the conversations are all very nice and complimentary, with all of the crew saying “my, what a fantastic job they’re all doing tonight! And boy, isn’t Nathaniel Jones looking especially handsome?” as opposed to the somewhat less positive comments that go on amongst the crew for this show).

However, the bad news is that once they moved the rest of the equipment into the booth, and Jessilee is able to say “standby sound cue A” in person, I’ve lost my headset. And the other bad thing to happen when the other boards moved to the booth is that it became crowded, and so now I have to stay put by the sound board, where the equipment blocks my view of most of the play, which means that most of the time I have to just sit quietly in a little dark box listening to the play and only one side of the headset conversations, so it’s rather dull. And as it takes up about 4.5 hours of my day every day from Tuesday through Sunday, I’m anxious for the show to be over so that I can get back to work on my other projects.

What projects, you ask? Well, in Shakespeare we’re preparing to perform our tragedy scenes for a second time (we performed for the first time on Friday, and our Scottish Play scene went quite well, although the comments we got back from Maureen will cause us to completely rethink a lot of what we did, especially set-wise), and we’re also starting in on our Comedy scenes (I’ll be Falstaff in a scene from King Henry IV, Part 1 with Jackie). In Playwriting, we’re doing collaborative scripts this week (My writing partner is Chrissy, but she’s out of town this weekend, so we haven’t had a chance to talk about what our play will be). In directing, we’ve cast our shows, and now we’re to be starting rehearsals, which will be quite difficult for me until my 6-10:30 time slot isn’t filled with Uncommon Women. In Gay and Lesbian Lit, we’re working on our big group project (my group will be looking at different coming out stories, and how different people are treated after they ‘come out.’) And in Intro to Cinema, we’re doing a big group film project (my team is making a movie in which a lesbian must decide whether or not she is going to commit suicide). So, if you do that math, that’s a group project in Every Single Class I’m In! Oy, school, what are you doing to me?

With all this stuff going on, I’ve been stressed to the max. But you know how some people say they’re so stressed that they’re pulling their hair out? Well - not me, because rather than pulling it out, I cut it off. If you have not yet seen the movie of it, a link to youtube is provided in the post right before this one. It all began a while back, when I decided I ought to get a haircut. Then, on Saturday, after running my errands, I had the idea that I could probably cut it myself, as I was just wanting to shorten the back and the sides, and since I had just gotten a mirror that could be used for making sure it looked alright in the back. So I pulled out the haircutter that I had bought last year, set up my video camera to document the experience, and started cutting. Things were going splendidly at first - I was quite impressed at my skill at hair cutting - but then something went awry. As I was shortening the sides, I cut way too deep in one patch! Oh no! So now I had my hair all around at roughly a length I wanted it, and one very short patch! Since I couldn’t let that one patch go, I shortened all the hair on that side, so that I had one side of my head with short hair, and the other side with longer hair. And this just looked silly, so I had to shorten the other side to match. So I had short hair on the sides, and longish hair on the top, and that too looked just ridiculous, so I shortened the top as well (although I left a little poof at the front), and mourned the loss of so much of my hair.

But the good news is that everyone that sees it says nice things (now, the question is: does my hair look not-as-bad as I originally thought, or are people looking at my hair, thinking “oh goodness gracious, who took a weed wacker to Nathaniel Jones’ Head!?” and then saying “I like your haircut” so as to disguise their horror? The world may never know.) I’ve decided it’s not too horrible, so I’ve decided against spending my savings on a large collection of hats to wear until my hair grows out again.

And now that you’re all caught up on my week, I’m going to go to bed. Sweet dreams, you bunch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XxaFtYERVc

Welcome to this special edition of blog post, dedicated to Theatrical Things I’ve Invented This Week!

The first, and least invented, is a series of Character Drawings for the play “The Ugly Duckling” by A.A. Milne! There are seven drawings, one for each character in the play! And a reminder again for all your WWU or other Bellingham Area People, if you’d like to play one of these roles in my production of it for directing class, let me know (and if you’d like to try out for all of the directing scenes, auditions will be held next Tuesday at 3pm in Old Main).

The Second, and most invented, is this week’s playwriting assignment, titled “The Flower Merchant.” This play is related to the cartoon “A Murder Most Foul,” and I imagine that when I get some free time I’ll turn this into a cartoon as well. It’s a great play, especially if you’re a fan of the phrase “filthy whore.”

The Flower Merchant
By Nathaniel Jones

Virginia Forsale, woman of the evening, stands on the side of the road, holding a sign which reads “will sleep with you for money (unless you are a cop, in which case I am a flower merchant)”

As she stands, Madame Gia Killswell, a wealthy woman, approaches.

KILLSWELL
Excuse me, miss, I’m looking for a filthy whore, is that you?

VIRGINIA
That depends… are you a cop?

KILLSWELL
No, I am not a cop, I am a wealthy woman looking for a filthy whore.

VIRGINIA
In that case, yes I am. What can I do for you? Or to you?

KILLSWELL
Tell me – do you have any experience passing yourself off as a wealthy, high-class woman-about-town?

VIRGINIA
I did once, when a doctor wagered that he could pass me off as royalty, and our story was made into a hit Broadway musical.

KILLSWELL
Good, good… Here is my situation: there’s a little matter of a, how shall we say, a murdered girl in the trunk of my car.

VIRGINIA
Really? That doesn’t seem like the best thing to stick in the trunk of a car. Much better would be, I should think, a spare tire.

KILLSWELL
Well, I know that now for next time. But as the case is, I’ve got a dead girl on my hands, and I really need to cover it up, so I would like to hire you to pretend to be this dead girl.

VIRGINIA
So what do I need to do – just lie still in your trunk for a while?

KILLSWELL
No no – I mean, you would pretend to be her, only still alive. The goal is so that people will believe that she is still alive.

VIRGINIA
Oh good – I have much more experience as an alive girl than a dead one. Although, my profession does give me quite a bit of experience lying motionless.

KILLSWELL
Well, then, it seems you have a well-rounded knowledge, and that is most certainly a beneficial attribute. I think you will do nicely.

VIRGINIA
If you need me to play a flower merchant, I can use this sign I already have made up, too.

KILLSWELL
That’s a nice thought, but you shant be playing a flower merchant. Instead, you must pass yourself off as Victoria Hamperstand, wealthy heir to the Hamperstand Fortune. You have most likely seen her picture in the papers.

VIRGINIA
Oh yes! I have! She did look like a filthy whore!

KILLSWELL
Yes, and that’s why I’ve come to you to fill her place. Now, this should be an easy job – all I need for you to do is write your name on one little form, and act like Miss Hamperstand until I can create a plausible cause of her death that doesn’t involve me murdering her.

VIRGINIA
Oo – that is a challenge. First, I must ask, how was it that she died?

KILLSWELL
Well, that’s a funny story – I’ve been away in London for the past week for a charity gala event, and while I was away, Victoria was staying my villa. When I returned home yesterday morning, I noticed that there was a strange car parked in the driveway. Naturally I was curious about it, and so had it towed and destroyed. Apparently this upset Victoria, as the car had belonged to a gentleman caller that she had been particularly keen on, and in a fit of rage, she threatened to have one of my personal cars destroyed. Naturally, I shot her. And now here we are.

VIRGINIA
Ah yes – I can see how that might look bad for you. So how exactly do you propose we cover up this crime?

KILLSWELL
Just follow my lead, you filthy whore!

SCENE 2
The Villa

The whore and the wealthy woman enter the villa.

VIRGINIA
This is a nice villa.

KILLSWELL
Why thank you. Please – take a seat. No, not on that chair, that’s the good chair. No, not on that couch, that’s the good couch. In fact, why not just use the floor. Although, on second thought, that is a nice floor, so how about we just stay standing, hmm? And do try to keep your feet as much off the floor as possible. I don’t know where your shoes have been.

VIRGINIA
They’ve been on my feet.

KILLSWELL
I would expect as much from your sort. Now, you look to be about Victoria’s size, so I’ll just go ahead and run upstairs and grab you something of hers to wear, and then we’ll get on with it.

VIRGINIA
And I’ll just wait here then?

KILLSWELL
Well, remember, you are on the clock here, so I expect you to make yourself useful. How about you take that fire poker and poke that log?

VIRGINIA
Shall I light the fire?

KILLSWELL
No no, just poke that log a few times till I get back.

VIRGINIA
Yes, ma’am.

Killswell exits. Virginia pokes the log for a while, until she grows tired of it, and begins to look around the room.

She picks up a piece of paper, and reads it:

VIRGINIA
Step one – Murder Victoria. Step two: hire filthy whore to fill in for dead Victoria. Step three: Make the whore change Victoria’s will so that everything will go to me. Step Four: Kill the whore. Step five: Profit!

The whore runs to a phone and dials a number, speaking in hushed tones to the person on the other end. As she hangs up, the wealthy woman returns, carrying a dress.

KILLSWELL
Here – this should look lovely on you.

VIRGINIA
Wait wait – answer me one question, before we go any further: are you planning on using me to get the Hamperstand fortune for yourself, and are you further planning to murder me when you get your evil way?

KILLSWELL
Of course not!

VIRGINIA
Oh – thank goodness. This note had me worried.

KILLSWELL
I told that good-for-nothing maid to put that where the whore wouldn’t be able to find it! Ha ha, nevermind that for now. Put this on – and if you have any bullet-proof vests or anything on, take those off first.

The whore does as she is told. In her dress, she is the spitting image of Victoria Hamperstand.

KILLSWELL
That will do quite nicely. Now, quickly, as the lawyer will be here any moment with the proper documents to change the will, practice what you will say to fit the role.

VIRGINIA
The Rain in Spain stays Mainly on the Plain.

KILLSWELL
Not quite right. Perhaps say a little bit more about how you are Victoria Hamperstand, and a little bit less about where it rains in Spain. A little more on topic for this situation.

VIRGINIA
My name is Victoria Hamperstand. I am the heir to the Hamperstand fortune, and I am neither a flower merchant, nor a whore pretending to be a flower merchant, whether you are a cop or not.

KILLSWELL
Eerily accurate!

A knock at the door.

KILLSWELL
That’ll be the lawyer.

Madame Killswell answers the door, and the lawyer, Vera Legal, enters carrying a briefcase.

KILLSWELL
You’re the lawyer? I was expecting a man.

VERA
Oh, sexist! I am Vera Legal, the woman attorney. I understand there is some emergency will-change needed?

KILLSWELL
Yes, that is true, my good woman. This here is Victoria Hamperstand, and she realized that she really needed to change her will so that all of her fortune will be left to me in the unlikely event that she gets shot later on this evening.

VERA
Hmm – yes, that seems plausible and not in the least bit suspicious. How are you tonight, Miss Hamperstand?

VIRGINIA
Yes, I am Miss Hamperstand, heir to the Hamperstand fortune. I am not a flower merchant, nor am I a filthy whore.

VERA
That goes to show, looks can be deceiving. Now, about this will, I have taken the liberty to fill out the forms before arriving, and all that is left is for them to be signed. The new will reads thus: “I, Victoria Hamperstand, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath all of my earthly possessions to Madame Gia Killwell, and etcetera.”

KILLSWELL
Perfect. Now, Miss Hamperstand, go ahead and sign the will.

VIRGINIA
Okay.

KILLSWELL
There! It’s done! The fortune is mine!

VERA
Waitabit – don’t you need to wait until Victoria here dies of what are sure to be natural causes? Hmm?

KILLSWELL
No, because this is not Victoria Hamperstand! I shot the real Victoria this morning, and hired this filthy whore to fill in so that I could change the will. And you can’t say anything to the police because of the lawyer’s confidentiality rules and that!

VERA
Well, Killswell, while I hate to rain on your parade, I’m afraid there are a few small obstacles to your victory here. For one thing, there’s a law that says anybody that is a witness to the signing of the will cannot be a beneficiary therein. This being the case, even if you hadn’t just admitted to the murder of Victoria Hamperstand, you would get nothing. And if we then look further into the will, we see that if the primary heir is unable to accept the fortune, it will then fall to the next in line, Victoria Hamperstand’s favorite flower merchant, Virginia Forsale.

VIRGINIA
And that, is me!

VERA
Lastly, the confidentiality agreement would really only work if I were actually your attorney, which I am not. I too am a filthy whore with a knack for pretending to be not-a-whore. When Virginia learned of your scheme, she phoned me, and so I beaned the real attorney on the head and took his place so that we could foil your vicious scheme.

KILLSWELL
Oh! You filthy whores!

VIRGINIA and VERA
And how!

END

And that’s it for the online collection of Theatrical Inventions for the week. There were more inventions, such as the set design for Ugly Duckling, as well as a good rehearsal tonight with Crystal for our *the scottish play* scene, but because those are not in digital form, they cannot be placed in this collection. But you can imagine what they would be like if they were here.

*and scene!*

It’s been a week, and what a week it’s been.

When last we left our hero, it was last Sunday. As it turns out, it is Sunday again,although only technically so, as it’s just past midnight. What has happened on those days? How about a day-by-day recap!

Monday: Had four classes - Shakespeare, where I found out that Crystal and I will be doing the scene in *the scottish play* that takes place right after *the scottish play* kills the king, and he and lady *the scottish play* are discussing what to do now, and proper hand washing techniques.

After that it was to Gay and Lesbian literature, where we discussed the connection between capitalism and homosexuality. Following that, it was Intro to Cinema, where I learned that it’s thanks to the KKK that we enjoy the great freedom we have today, and if it weren’t for them, the negroes and carpetbaggers would have taken over the world and enslaved all the white women. Thank you KKK! (this knowledge brought to you by the film ‘Birth of a Nation’)

That night: I did homework!

Tuesday will usually be my free day, but this past Tuesday was booked solid, as I had to find a play to use for directing class, so I got up early to go to the library to look through piles and piles of plays, and eventually I decided on “The Ugly Duckling,” by AA Milne (author of Winnie the Pooh). It should be a wonderfully fun scene, and if any of you reading this are western theatre students, I highly encourage you to audition to be in it!

After picking my play, I met with Crystal to start looking over our *the scottish play* scene, and after that it was lunch, and after lunch it was time for Directing, my only class of the day.

The big fun of the day, in addition to discovering the play by AA Milne, was my second ever Dead Parrots Rehearsal (I went to one before, and have had busy Tuesday nights ever since). It was fun - we only got into the very basics, since it was the first week, but we still played some fun games. I look forward to going back for more in near future (on Tuesday, to be precise).

Wednesday was more class. Much like Monday. Except, my homework for Wednesday was remarkable in the sense that I wrote a short play for playwriting class, and thanks to the power of copy and paste, you can all read it here, or scroll past without reading it, which is probably the wiser thing to do:

Intro to Dramatic Writing
Scene 1

Haul leans on his front grass contemplating whether or not this is the day to rake the leaves. He looks up and sees his neighbor, Richard approaching.

RICHARD
Haul!

HAUL
Richard.

RICHARD
Looks like your starin at those leaves such that they might just about catch on fire.

HAUL
Well… one way to get rid of ‘em.

RICHARD
Ha HA! If only.

Haul continues staring at the leaves

RICHARD
The reason I’m come by is cause I was wondering if you’re planning on making it out our way this weekend for the grill.

HAUL
…No, not this weekend.

RICHARD
Oh, no?

HAUL
No – I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.

RICHARD
Well – sure sorry to hear that. We’ll save some dogs for you if change your mind about it.

HAUL
Thanks. I think I’ll stay in this weekend – I’ve got work to catch up on.

RICHARD
I know how that way goes.

HAUL
Yeah…

RICHARD
Yeah, well, just thought I’d come by and check. Oh – and Grace wanted me to thank you again for that box of toys. I wish’d you could’ve seen the look on Anne’s face when we give it to her on her birthday – just about jumped out of her clothes to see all them.

HAUL
Well, just glad that they come to some use.

RICHARD
Boy, I tell ya, they’ll certainly get use around our place… Have you heard any word from her lately?

HAUL
No.

RICHARD
Anne got a letter from your Catherine a ways back – I meant to bring it, only Grace said it might make you more worse than better, so I left it. If you come around for the weekend, you can read it then – it sounds like they’re doing good. Anne has been playing pen-pals with Catherine since they moved off – it sure tore her up something good when she… Gosh, I’m sorry – you probably don’t want to hear this.

HAUL
Not at all – I’m glad that they haven’t cut all their ties here. What did kitten say? She must be back in school by now.

RICHARD
Yeah, went back in September. Her note said she likes her new school – they’ve got all sorts of fancy things in there, too – got computers in each the classrooms, and white boards instead of chalk.

HAUL
Did she say how her mother’s doing?

RICHARD
No great details. She gave her new phone number, though. Couldn’t hurt to call – just to check up.

Haul stares at the leaves.

RICHARD
She invited her to the barbecue.

HAUL
Will she be there?

RICHARD
She said her mom wanted to know if you would be there.

HAUL
What’d you say?

RICHARD
I said you were planning on it.

HAUL
… then she won’t be there.

RICHARD
Well… gosh, Haul, I hate to see you this way. Come down on Saturday, get out of this yard for a change. You’ve been standing at this gate so long, people beginning to think you’re a scarecrow.

HAUL
It’s the only place I feel like is mine. The house was always hers.

RICHARD
Well, you know the Clarks, lived across from us? They’re moving out now their sons gone to state school. Realtor just put up the sign last week.

HAUL
What are they asking?

RICHARD
Anne picked up the flyer – said their charging one-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-dollars.

HAUL
*whistles*

RICHARD
You believe that? Imagine paying one-and-a-qarter thousand dollars for a little house. If they charged that thirty years ago, we could never afford to live here. But your place is big – and with that outlet moving in down 4th, it must be pretty valuable. Probably make some profit by moving down by me.

HAUL
I may look into it.

RICHARD
Come by on Saturday – you can take a look at the place. Right across the street. Wouldn’t take a minute. Might even be having an open-house.

Haul suddenly becomes enraged.

HAUL
Who the hell has a barbecue when its damn near winter!

RICHARD
What? Now Haul, I didn’t mean anything by it – I’m just trying to help a guy out.

HAUL
I don’t need your help, I don’t need your house, I don’t need your barbecue. Get the hell out of my yard.

RICHARD
What’s got into you? Haul?

Haul kicks the leaves.

RICHARD
Haul?

Haul stares at the leaves.

RICHARD
Well, I’ve gotta be running along, just wanted to stop by. I… sorry.

HAUL
Rich…

RICHARD
Yeah Haul?

HAUL
… I’ll see you on Saturday.

RICHARD
Hey, Haul!

Richard walks off. Haul looks at the leaves, picks up his rake, and begin clearing up the yard.

END

For class a few people presented their scenes to be critiqued, but I opted to wait until next week so I can present my next little play, since I’m not too thrilled with this first one. After the play presentations in the morning, I had a little lunch break, and then directing again, where we had a short class since the prof had somewhere to be.

Thursday night’s homework was also remarkable, this time because I wrote a little response paper on what I think about the issues we’ve brought up in Gay and Lesbian Lit, and returning again to my copy+paste skills, you can read that too! (Note: these were supposed to be about what we thought about things brought up in class or in the reading, not about our own sexual histories, so if you’re planning on reading it to get juice details, you’ll be disappointed).

ENG227 – Gay and Lesbian Lit.
Response Paper #1

In the most recent essay we’ve read (Thinking Sex), I noticed one sentence that I felt really stood out as a way of describing what I’ve long felt is a main problem with any study of sexuality: “Most people mistake their sexual preferences for a universal system that will or should work for everyone (p. 15).” This is also important to the idea brought up in Epistemology of the Closet, that to ‘come out’ as gay is really not giving the person you’re coming out to any valid information.
Sexuality is such a taboo subject that there are no universal definitions, and sexuality is such a personal subject that universal definitions are impossible to make. Just as the question “what is a gay person?” would likely have wildly different answers if you asked a straight person or a gay person, you would also likely have wildly different answers if you only asked people from one particular group. Without getting too personal, I feel that I ought to say here that I’m a firm believer in the Kinsey-style scale, where there are very few 100% straight or 100% gay people, and that most fall somewhere in between (of course this is also based on my personal history, once again returning to the idea above that people tend to believe their own personal sexuality is representative of the wider view of sexuality as a whole). As a result of this, I’ve never been satisfied with a three category system (straight, gay, bi). In my view, this strict division between groups gets in the way of honest discussion, because it forces people to pick a label when in many cases that label will not accurately reflect their views (similar to the trouble with the two party political system, but that is for another paper). The way things are now, if you have a person who considers him or herself to be straight, and that person becomes attracted to a person of the same gender, they might feel they must suppress that feeling so as to avoid being seen as one of “those people,” and as a defense mechanism they may feel a need to suppress the homosexuality in others to avoid their own feelings. And going the other way, a gay or lesbian person may suppress feelings of love for a person of the opposite gender to avoid being labeled bi (and therefore generally not as accepted, in my experience). Of all three categories, I find that bisexuality is the most likely to be questioned or labeled a ‘phase.’ From the gay said, I have often heard the idea that a bisexual man is just a gay man in denial. Why isn’t it accepted? Most likely a mix of politics (if someone is attracted to both genders, it strengthens the conservative argument that homosexuality is a choice), and returning again to the idea that a persons own sexuality is representative of everyone else.

So I turned that in on Friday after having a table session/rehearsal for *the scottish play* scene, and after that I was done for the day, so I went grocery shopping, and then had a thrilling evening working on the godgame website, and then had a thrilling go-to-bed-early, as I had to wake up at 8am so that I could be ready to start work again at 9am when JF got here to go over more godgame stuff. Today was spent almost entirely videotaping him explaining the theories behind his website, which will most likely go online at one point or another for those interested. Today’s lessons were much more upbeat than last week, and he focused mostly on the unity of everything (think “I <3 Huckabees” blanket) and being aware of everything around you at every moment.

Another cause for celebration: today was payday, so I had a costume shopping expedition for both batman masks, and a costume for *the scottish play.* Good news and bad news on the batman mask: they didn’t have any anywhere. That’s the bad news. The good news is that the Spook Shop in the mall has one in their warehouse, and so I was able to order it, and they said I can go pick it up on Tuesday! Sweet! For the macbe… I mean, *the scottish play* costume, I got a black coat, and some black pant-like-things-that-I-can-use-as-tights. So it’s not a complete costume yet, but the coat is nice for the character, and also nice in the sense that I can wear it around when it is cold. Yay for multi-purpose clothing items!

Here is a picture of me wearing my new jacket:

In case you can’t see it, the jacket is the thing with the zipper.

Well, now it’s past one, and so I must hit the hay, because JF is coming back again tomorrow to do more work, I’ve got homework to do, a scene to rehearse, my wife to murder, and Gilder to frame for it. I’m swamped! Goodnight.

(although, as a warning: sleep no more! macbeth does murder sleep!)

This morning I found out via a message from my brother on myspace that Mad Man Moskowitz, the man who introduced my to all manner of classic novelty songs, has passed away. For those who have never heard of him until now, he was Seattle’s version of Dr. Demento - he had a show on the radio every sunday night, and in my younger days, we would listen to him every week - as soon as it was almost time for the show to start, my brother and I would race to the phone so that we could be the first callers to put in song requests (Fish Heads was always a favorite of mine, as was “Mr. Jaws,” and songs from Weird Al (who’s new song “white and nerdy” was stuck in my head all during last night’s rapper party), Tom Lehrer, Spike Jones, and many many more. Without a doubt, The Funny Farm with Mad Man Moskowitz had a profound effect on my sense of humor (I’ll let you decide whether I should thank him or blame him). Goodnight, Moskowitz, and may flights of angels come to take thee away (ha ha), come to take the away (ho ho, he he, ha ha).

In happier news, I learned today that the world will likely be ending in 2011. JF (the guy whose website I’ve been hired to build) drove up today and we spent 9 hours designing and discussing the end of the world (which will happen after the world is plunged into chaos after islam’s most holy place is destroyed in retaliation by Israel after their most holy place is destroyed by Iran in retaliation for their country being destroyed by the US). I tell ya, it’s nice to have an income, by 9 hours of that’ll wear a guy out.

In gambling news, I got a sweet casino set - 400 poker chips, two decks of cards, five dice, all wrapped in a shiney metal case that I could handcuff to my wrist if I had handcuffs. I’ve been playing blackjack with myself, and just today I made about $400. So if anyone wants to come over and give me all of my winnings, that’d be pretty great. Also, since I now have this set, I’m planning on having a little Casino Night (after which I’ll tell Pam that I love her, and hope that she doesn’t tell me that she’s still marrying Roy).

Tomorrow will be a busy day - I’ve got four classes on Monday, and a bunch of reading to do for three of those four. So, I really shouldn’t be writing this at 2am. And since I shouldn’t, I won’t. Goodnight.