I’m enjoying “Sweeney Todd” quite a bit right now. I had heard some of the songs years ago, but I wasn’t all that interested. But, I watched the “Sweeney Todd in Concert” DVD, and just listened to the original cast recording, and I must say that I am now officially a fan. Tim Burton is now making a movie version starring Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter - I predict that I will either love it or hate it, or I’ll think it’s “ok.” (Happy Birthday, Mitch Hedberg).

Also on today’s Hot List: Ginger Ale. In the past, I would drink ginger ale every time I flew on an airplane, but never when I was on the ground. But, after trying the Thomas Kemper ginger ale, I must say that it is amazing at any altitude.

And, I don’t have anything to say right now, so instead I’ll just post this drawing of a fellow in a pickle:

It’s snowing!

I want Tom Hanks’ job from the movie “Big.” If anybody knows how to line that up for me, that’d be great.

There haven’t been any posts lately - but that doesn’t mean that nothing’s been going on. I’ve been working pretty much non-stop (I say “pretty much” to appease those of you who might think “hey - if he’s working non-stop, how can he watch ‘Big’?”). I’m down to the last month before I graduate, and things are getting hectic and exciting and scary. I’m still looking mostly at Austin, although I’m a bit less excited about the theater opportunities down there. In my research, I found piles and piles of theaters that I could work at, but almost all of them are non-profit with only volunteer positions available. So I’m expanding my job search to include TV stations and other things. Other than that, there’s no real big news in the post-school front.

As far as the still-in-school front goes, I’m now running lightboard (for act one) of Trial of God, and I’m “Deck Chief” for Trial of God and History of the Devil (this means that I’m in charge of the change over from one show to the other, since they’re being performed in the same space on alternating nights. I’ve also ordered my graduation announcements and my cap’n gown. That was about a week ago - and it was the first time I really realized how close I am to graduating. That was the point that I really started working full time on trying to get something solid set up for April.

In other news, during my long hours of sitting on tech days for the two shows I’m working, I finished reading “Alan Mendelsohn, The Boy from Mars,” and “The Curse of the Blue Figurine,” since those were the last of my books, I then went on to write the greatest book of the 21st century:

101 Greatest Poop Jokes
If you click that picture, you can read the entire book in a PDF file. Although you should be warned that it contains 101 poop jokes, so if you’re looking for some nice high-brow entertaining, you will certainly find it in this book. It also contains some swear words, so be sure to read it when your young children are nearby. If you actually read all 101 poop jokes, I will be almost as ashamed of you for reading them as I am for writing them.

That’s it for now. B’bye.

A Very Specific Love
by Nathaniel Jones

Oh baby, I wanna make somethin’ clear:
You’re the one that I hold so dear!
If you were gone, you know I’d shed a tear,
When I think about (your name here)!

You and I, I think that we’re
Ready to push it to a higher gear!
Go on and sign me up for another year
With you, (your name here)!

Other girls got nothin’ on you,
You’re the greatest one by far!
Now I’m doin’ what I gotta do,
Gotta tell the world how great you are!

(your name here) is amazing!
(your name here) is divine!
(your name here) deserves all this praising,
and best of all (your name here) is mine!

Oh baby, baby, you’re my one true love,
After you, I’ll never be the same!
I’m convinced that you fell from above
You’re an angel, (insert your name)!

I wrote this song just for you,
And there’s no need for any thanks!
Just as long as you know that I love you true,
I love you (fill in the blanks)!

You’ll have to wait a bit for the audio version of this song because it’s not finished being recorded yet, but rest assured knowing that it’s on it’s way, and that it is awesome. “But how are you recording it, Nathaniel Jones? You don’t have an awesome recording studio.” Well, guess what. You’re wrong, because this afternoon I got my Awesome Recording Studio! Hooray!

In “Fantastic Voyage” news, I sent a few e-mails to some of the theaters in Austin asking about jobs, so I’ll probably be hearing back from them in the coming days. I also posted in one of the Austin livejournal communities with a few questions about the different areas of Austin, public transportation, and what the theater job pool is like. They didn’t know much about theater in that comm, but I did learn that North Austin (where most of the cheap apartments are) the public transportation system is very bad, so unless I get a car I’ll have to get a place in the non-north areas, so that’s what I’m focusing on as I browse craigslist for apartments.

Also, I filled out my paperwork for my senior project - I’m now officially going to record an old-time radio program (using my new recording studio). I realized that while my musical is coming along nicely, it is unrealistic to think that I could finish writing it, gather a cast, and then make it performance-ready by the end of the quarter - so, Old Time Radio Show it is!

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

I’ve now been pointed towards Austin, Texas as opposed to Dallas, because while it does not have the Vocal Majority, it does have a more lively music and theater scene, in addition to having more trees. According to wikipedia, Austin, TX is known as the Live Music Capital of the World, and the people of Austin (called “Austenites”) like to celebrate their eccentricity, and the un-official motto is “Keep Austin Weird.” It also is being used more often now as a filming location for Hollywood movies not wanting to film in Hollywood. Recent movies filmed in Austin include “Secondhand Lions,” “Waking Life,” “Spy Kids,” “Dazed and Confused,” “Office Space,” “The Life of David Gale,” “Miss Congeniality,” “A Scanner Darkly,” and “Sin City.”

So it looks like Austin is pulling ahead of Dallas in the race to determine where I’ll move. Have any of you lived in Austin, or know people in Austin, that could offer further advice?

In other news… I guess I don’t really have much other news. I may have found out the name of that book that I couldn’t figure out, though - my mom (a librarian) forwarded my description around to the library system, and one of the other librarians said that it sounds like “Alan Mendelsohn, the Boy from Mars.” When I go to the library to return my books, I’ll have to pick it up and verify that it’s the one, but based on its wikipedia entry, it sounds promising. I also got an e-mail from musiciansfriend.com saying that my doohickey has been shipped, and should arrive on the 13th (as opposed to their earlier e-mail that said they would have it on the 14th), so yay for that. And yay also for Thomas Kemper, who will be sending me a 6-pack of soda, since two weekends ago I bought a multi-pack in which one of the bottles didn’t have a label on.

And one last thing - about a month ago, I stopped deleting the junk mail from my junk mail folder to see how big it would get (after a month, it automatically deletes) - the winning number is 2378 pieces of spam over the last 30 days. If you guessed that number, congratulations! You win! (I was actually very close, for my second guess. My first guess was 1400, but then when that number had been passed and there was still a long way to go, I changed my guess to 2400.)

Does anyone know much about Dallas, Texas?
I’ve been looking around the world for different places to live (as I’ve got less than 45 days left in Bellingham), and Dallas is rising on the list of possible destinations. The main reason I started looking there was so that I could sing with the Vocal Majority (barbershop chorus), but after reading about it on wikipedia, it looks pretty good as far as the arts and everything goes. And even though it’s in Texas, it went 70% in favor of Kerry in the last election. And compared to other places I’ve been looking, the apartments are much cheaper.

So - have you ever lived in Dallas, or do you know anyone in Dallas that could offer advice on such a move?

(for those curious, the other top choices are “Somewhere in Oregon,” “somewhere close to the South Dakota relatives,” or “stay in Washington for a while”)

I’m just about pulling the hairs out of my head. For the past two and a half hours, I’ve been searching every bookstore website and library system website I can find in hopes of figuring out what the book is that I’m trying to think of.

This afternoon there were only three people in my normally huge biology class, and the prof wasn’t  there for reasons I have not yet discovered, so I went downtown to try and find some Gilbert and Sullivan CDs (since I haven’t had any luck finding G&S to download). I went to both of the music stores by the bus station, and neither had any at all, except for a CD of excerpts from a few shows performed by some orchestra. But then I had the idea to go check the library.

I had never been to the public library in Bellingham - it’s much bigger than I expected it to be. Since this was my first time, I started out by getting a library card. Once I completed that task, I went to the CD section and found “HMS Pinafore.” I checked it out, but before I left, I decided to check out the children’s section to pick up “Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH,” because I had watched “The Secret of NIMH” and decided that I wanted to read the books again. While I was in the Children’s section, I picked up “The Curse of the Blue Figurine” by John Bellairs, and then I happened to think of another book that pops into my head from time to time. Unfortunately, rather than a few very memories about specific things that happen in the book, I don’t remember anything about it that would be helpful in finding it on a library shelf. I asked the librarian, because librarians are huge fans of trying to find books based on sparse, vague details, but we were unable to find it in the computer system.

However, by this time I was set on finding the book, so I went down each row of the children’s fiction section until I had looked at every single book - and didn’t find it. This could be because of one of two things: 1) they didn’t have it, or 2) they had it, but my memory of it is so faded that I didn’t recognize it when I saw it.

So I checked out my books and went home, where I continued my search. I started out on amazon, looking at recommended lists based on other similar books that I liked around that same time period (Interstellar Pig, Stinker from Space, the John Bellairs books, the NIMH books, the Great Brain books, etc) hoping at least one of those lists would have it - but no luck. So then I went  searching for books of children’s science fiction. Again, I didn’t see it, again because of one of the two reasons above. “Interstellar Pig” and “Stinker from Space” showed up many times, which would suggest that it may be that I’m not recognizing the title when I see it.

Anyway - what I remember of the book is that it is about these two kids who either walk into a strange store, or see a strange ad that they respond to, and discover that they can develop amazing brain powers (the ability to control things with their minds and whatnot). However, they can’t afford to buy whatever it is that will amplify their brains enough to get it to work, so they go home and experiment on their own, until they are able to use a coathanger (I think) to develop these powers. Then they go back to the guy that told them about it, and he realizes that these kids have amazing powers, and so he takes them to either another dimension or another planet or something along those lines, where they have to save the day. As I said, the memories are vague and not too helpful, but if anyone has any idea of the book that I’m thinking of, let me know what it is. If anybody can find whatever this book is for me, I’d give a huge reward or something, because after all this work it’s really drivin’ me nuts (as the pirate said to the bartender) that I can’t figure out what it is.

I just now watched last night’s episode of “The Office,” because last night I went out with Leah and her room mate and her boyfriend for pizza at the wood fire pizza place, and dancing / air hockey at Rumors. It was a fun time.

It didn’t go too late, though, because everyone had to get up early this morning (I had my Intro to Knowledge and Reality midterm, which I think I pretty well rocked out of the house), but it did go too late to watch The Office. But now I’m all caught up on the weirdness. And oh, what weirdness it was. A little too weird for my tastes - it hardly felt like an episode of The Office at all. Plus, Michael kept making accidentally-gay comments that sounded much more like Tobias (from Arrested Development) than Michael.

There’s good news and bad news about my Professional Recording Studio. The good news is that my microphone and stand arrived, and they look pretty sweet. The bad news is that I can’t use it, because since it’s a pro-style microphone it has one of those Official Microphone Cords, rather than the small mic cords that can be plugged into the computer. So, I’ll have to wait until I get the other piece I ordered, which will allow me to finish getting it set up. According to the website, it should be in stock on the 14th (Valentine’s Day - ooo), so I’ll be able to start my fancy recording sometime soon after that.

And now, for your entertainment, the script to Episode One of the new comedy series, “Al Bride-a” (it rhymes with “al qaeda”)

"AL BRIDE-A"

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

LARRY is seated on the couch, looking anxious. The doorbell
rings. LARRY leaps from the couch, opens the door, and is
disappointed to see his friend, FRED.

FRED
Don't look so thrilled!

LARRY
I'm sorry - I keep expecting the
UPS guy to show up.

FRED
Expecting a package?

LARRY
Expecting my new mail-order bride.

FRED
Oh... I didn't realize that they
actually shipped brides through
UPS. I assumed they sent them on
planes or something.

LARRY
No, she's coming in a packing
crate.

FRED
Oh. What is she - one of those
Russian ones?

LARRY
Russian? Heck no - I'm getting an
exotic one from the Middle East.

FRED
Uh oh - the Middle East? How do you
know that it's not one of those
suicide bombers?

LARRY
Come on, Fred, don't be a jerk.
It's a mail-order bride - she's
probably coming over here to escape
those guys.

FRED
What's she look like? Did they send
a picture?

LARRY
There was one, but it was really
too blurry to make out. I don't
think they have as good of cameras
as we have over here. When she gets
here, I'm going to get her all the
things we have in the West - I've
already even set her up a MySpace.

FRED
She's so lucky.

Doorbell rings. LARRY opens the door, and a UPS guy pushes in
a large crate.

UPS GUY
Are you Larry Fields?

LARRY
Yeah.

UPS GUY
Sign here.

LARRY signs his name on the UPS sheet.

UPS GUY (CONT'D)
Have a nice day.

LARRY
Thanks, you too.

UPS GUY exits.

FRED
Wow, that's some big crate!

LARRY
Help me get 'er open here...

FRED and LARRY pry the crate open. Inside they see OSAMA BIN
LADEN, in a dress.

FRED
Is that a beard?

LARRY
It's probably just some packing
materials to protect her from
breaking.

LARRY tugs at OSAMA's beard.

LARRY (CONT'D)
No, I guess it's a beard.

OSAMA
Please do not tug on my beard - as
a woman, I find it embarrassing
when people notice it.

LARRY
Oh - I'm sorry. Do you hear that,
Fred? It's just a little unsightly
facial hair; don't comment on it.
Don't worry, little missy, now that
you're in the US of A, we can get
that waxed right off.

OSAMA
Thank you. That will make me feel
more like a woman.

LARRY
I bet!

FRED
Hey, Larry...

LARRY
Yeah, Fred?

FRED
Larry... does she look... familiar
at all to you?

LARRY
Oh, well, you know they all look
the same to me.

FRED
No, I don't mean that... it's that,
I think she looks kind of like...
Osama bin Laden.

LARRY
What! You must be out of your mind.

FRED
Larry, just look at her - I tell
ya, I think that your mail order
bride is not a bride at all.

LARRY
You're being absurd. But fine -
I'll ask her. Say, sweetums, what's
your name?

OSAMA
My name is Osama...ria. You can
call me Maria.

LARRY
See that - her name's Maria. Maria,
this is really funny, Fred here
thought that you were Osama bin
Laden. He said you look like him.

OSAMA
I find it racist that you imply we
look alike.'

FRED
Well Gosh - I'm sorry.

LARRY
This'll take some getting used to -
just gotta remember, don't make any
comments about her beard, and don't
make any comments about her looking
like you-know-who.

FRED
Okay...

LARRY
Now, Maria, I've never had a mail
order bride before. What do we have
to do?

OSAMA
First we must go down to your
capital building and fill out some
forms.

LARRY
That sounds fine. Well Fred, I'm
going to take my new bride down to
the capital and get things
official. I'll give you a call
later and we'll do something.

FRED
That sounds fine. But listen -
you'd better keep an eye on that
woman of yours. There something
fishy about her...